the Other clinic Featured on RTÉ: Daniela Gonzalez on the First Year of Marriage
We were delighted to see our therapist Daniela Gonzalez featured on RTÉ this week in an article exploring the first year of marriage and some of the pressures couples can encounter as married life begins.
The piece touches on something many people recognise, even if they do not always speak about it openly. Marriage is often imagined as a point of arrival, but for many couples it is also the beginning of a new adjustment. Once the wedding has passed, ordinary life returns. Work, routines, responsibilities, habits, family expectations and the small realities of living together all come more sharply into view.
In the RTÉ interview, Daniela highlights how the first year of marriage can reveal expectations that may not have been fully discussed beforehand. Questions about roles, responsibilities, finances, intimacy, parenting, family involvement and daily life can all begin to surface. None of this necessarily means that something is wrong. More often, it means that the relationship is becoming more real.
One of the most important points Daniela makes is that couples often avoid the very conversations that matter most. Finances, for example, are rarely just about money. They often carry assumptions about fairness, dependence, generosity, freedom and obligation. The same can be said of intimacy, family boundaries, and expectations around children or domestic life. When these things remain vague, tensions can build quietly over time.
The article also touches on the question of family culture. Marriage is never only about two individuals. Each person brings their own family history, values, traditions and assumptions into the relationship. That can become especially visible around holidays, in laws, parenting, and the question of how much influence families of origin should have in a couple’s life. These are not always easy conversations, but they are often necessary ones.
Daniela also points to the warning signs that can emerge when couples begin to lose their connection. Feeling ignored, no longer appreciated, or gradually reduced to logistics and routine can have a real impact on a relationship. In this sense, connection is not maintained through big declarations, but through attention. Through small rituals. Through making time to speak. Through remaining interested in each other, even when life is busy or pressured.
What came across strongly in the RTÉ feature is something we see often in our work with couples. Relationships do not struggle simply because people do not love each other enough. More often, they struggle because love on its own does not resolve difference, clarify expectations, or make difficult conversations easier. A good relationship needs room for honesty, thought, frustration, negotiation and repair.
That is part of why couples therapy can be valuable, not only when things have seriously broken down, but also when a couple wants to understand what is happening between them more clearly. Sometimes the work is not about choosing sides or learning stock communication tips. Sometimes it is about helping two people hear what has not yet really been heard, and begin speaking to each other in a way that makes something new possible.
We were very pleased to see Daniela’s thoughtful perspective included by RTÉ, and we are proud to have her work represented in a national conversation about relationships, marriage and the realities of life together.
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