The Role of Silence in Psychotherapy
Silence often feels uncomfortable. Many people worry that if they stop speaking in therapy they’re failing somehow. But silence in psychotherapy isn’t absence – it’s presence of another kind.
Silence can be many things at once, sometimes paradoxically so. It can be the space for thought; a moment where we reach into the depths of memory, searching for a word, an image, or a trace of something long forgotten. It can also be the space where we let the weight of what’s already been said fill the room.
In ordinary everyday conversation, we rush to reassure. We say “it’s okay,” or “you’ll be fine,” or offer a quick solution. In therapy, silence is the refusal of that reflex. It’s the moment where words are allowed to settle rather than erase what they touch.
For the therapist, silence isn’t neglect; it’s an act of careful attention. It allows what’s fragile to breathe. No brave face to maintain, no need to rush past what hurts, no pressure to make sense too soon.
Sometimes silence in therapy is peaceful. A small sanctuary in the week where the maddening crowd quietens. Demands cease, and where the mind can rest without having to perform. For many, it’s the only place in life where they can sit in stillness and feel accompanied rather than alone.
But silence is not always serene. It can transmit tension, resistance, grief, or revelation. It can be heavy or tender, empty or full. Sometimes falling silent while speaking – when words suddenly falter – expresses something more honest than language ever could.
Silence, then, is not a void. It’s a recognition that human existence itself is incomplete. Not everything can be spoken, resolved, or explained. In those quiet moments, psychotherapy does its deepest work: not by filling the space, but by holding it open long enough for something real to emerge.
More on Psychotherapy Book an AppointmentRecommended Reading:
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Éric Laurent: Speaking Through One’s Body
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